Ahh, 4th of July. I thought I'd list for you the ways I have exercised my "freedom" this holiday season.
1. I exercised my freedom to pack bags. 6 bags for 4 people for 2 days, to be exact.
2. I exercised my freedom to go to Walmart, in BRANSON, lake vacation capital, on a HOLIDAY. With 2 toddlers.
3. I exercised my freedom to drive. To Branson. To Kimberling City. Back to Branson. Back to Kimberling City. And back to Branson. In one afternoon. In drunken lake traffic. AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH.
4. I exercised my freedom to use a lot of swear words.
5. I exercised my freedom to take a lot of Tums and Pepto Bismol because I ate like crap for 3 days straight.
6. I exercised my freedom to be peed on by a baby whom I forgot to put a swim diaper on.
7. I exercised my freedom to spend 20 minutes slathering sunscreen on 4 people. Amount of time spent "relaxing" on the water before thunder and lightning began: 30 minutes.
8. I exercised my freedom to play nurse after my 2 year old grabbed the HOT end of a metal sparkler. Those retro metal sparkler rods are bad news. Go for the new paper kind.
9. I exercised my freedom to give dirty looks. Get THIS. Exhausted from driving back and forth for 2 hours, missing out on my lake time, with two tired, hungry, dirty toddlers, I drag myself into the store and my kids head for that stupid cart that looks like a little car for the kids to drive. They start scrambling in, and a woman behind me with ONE 9 or 10 month old baby mutters, to her baby for ME to hear, "Well, we were going to use that cart, but I guess now we won't." I say, "You know, I have TWO kids with me, but you know what, TAKE the cart!" and I begin removing my children, who promptly begin screaming fits. She says, sweetly, "Oh, no, you take it! MY BABY won't scream like THAT!". I roll my eyes at her, silently wish for her to bear 4 more children and be doomed to daily visits with all of them to the grocery store on major holidays, and then take my damn cart. First come, first serve, *#$@*! Happy HOLIDAYS!!
1. I exercised my freedom to pack bags. 6 bags for 4 people for 2 days, to be exact.
2. I exercised my freedom to go to Walmart, in BRANSON, lake vacation capital, on a HOLIDAY. With 2 toddlers.
3. I exercised my freedom to drive. To Branson. To Kimberling City. Back to Branson. Back to Kimberling City. And back to Branson. In one afternoon. In drunken lake traffic. AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH.
4. I exercised my freedom to use a lot of swear words.
5. I exercised my freedom to take a lot of Tums and Pepto Bismol because I ate like crap for 3 days straight.
6. I exercised my freedom to be peed on by a baby whom I forgot to put a swim diaper on.
7. I exercised my freedom to spend 20 minutes slathering sunscreen on 4 people. Amount of time spent "relaxing" on the water before thunder and lightning began: 30 minutes.
8. I exercised my freedom to play nurse after my 2 year old grabbed the HOT end of a metal sparkler. Those retro metal sparkler rods are bad news. Go for the new paper kind.
9. I exercised my freedom to give dirty looks. Get THIS. Exhausted from driving back and forth for 2 hours, missing out on my lake time, with two tired, hungry, dirty toddlers, I drag myself into the store and my kids head for that stupid cart that looks like a little car for the kids to drive. They start scrambling in, and a woman behind me with ONE 9 or 10 month old baby mutters, to her baby for ME to hear, "Well, we were going to use that cart, but I guess now we won't." I say, "You know, I have TWO kids with me, but you know what, TAKE the cart!" and I begin removing my children, who promptly begin screaming fits. She says, sweetly, "Oh, no, you take it! MY BABY won't scream like THAT!". I roll my eyes at her, silently wish for her to bear 4 more children and be doomed to daily visits with all of them to the grocery store on major holidays, and then take my damn cart. First come, first serve, *#$@*! Happy HOLIDAYS!!
1 Comments:
Wow, I can't believe people can be so rude! I probably wouldn't of been so polite to the new mom of the 9-10 month old baby...
Great blog, I found your link in the comments at shenuts.com.
I'm blogrolling you!
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