I have a love / hate relationship with wallpaper. Yes, friends, I am going to blog about WALLPAPER.
Wallpaper, how I love thee:
Your ugly outer layer (red, cream, and blue seashells and stripes, in this case), it pleases me. It gives me strange pleasure because it is hideous, and now I can kill it and MAKE IT GO AWAY. It peels off in BIG (aahhhh), HUGE (mmmm), INTACT (oh-oh-OH!!!!) sheets.
Your stuck-on underlayer is also pleasing, in it's own special way. It needs more time and attention than the first layer.
I must first get it wet with a sponge...soothing!
Then I wait...just a few seconds more!
Then, I dig in with my flexible, flat blade scraper...sweet!
Sometimes it is a challenge, and the paper takes much repeated scraping and peeling, probably because some crazy-ass wallpaper-er got a little wild with the glue.
But other times? When I am lucky and have been blessed by the WALLPAPER GODS?
THOSE are the times I live for, because those are the times when my flexible, flat blade scraper SLLLLLIIIIIIDES under that underlayer of wallpaper and it begins to come off in ONE BIG, HUGE, WET, INTACT SHEET that just slowly (take your time, now!), gently (savor it!), peels away.
And then repeat. Wall after wall. It is weirdly soothing to me. In a regular day, the most I accomplish is microwaving food, washing some dishes, breaking up a fight or ten, and possibly doing a load of laundry. But when I'm stripping wallpaper?!? The world is MINE! ACCOMPLISHMENT! SUCCESS! UM, MAYBE I NEED TO GET OUT MORE?
Wallpaper, I hate you! Loathe you! You are STUPID! *hit with scraper*
Okay, I can't think of much I hate about stripping wallpaper. But the wallpaper itself? HATE IT. Even when it is tasteful wallpaper (is that an oxymoron?).
Wallpaper, though stripping it obviously brings me great joy, IS NOT GOOD.
INTERNET! Quit wallpapering your houses! Because someday, you will probably move, and someone will hate your wallpaper and have to spend hours and hours and hours and hours removing it and then get all freaky, and like, BE FORCED TO REMODEL THEIR WHOLE DAMN BATHROOM, AND QUITE POSSIBLY THE REST OF THE HOUSE TOO.
Paint it. Just PAINT IT. Paint is nice, and someone who moves in after you can just paint right over it if they feel like it! And there are all those fun paint techniques - sponging, ragging, texturing. Go crazy!
Just put down the glue. Walk away. Go get yourself a nice, new paintbrush.
P.S. I'd really like to post pictures of the wretched wallpaper, but apparently, Blogger is not feeling up to it today.
Wallpaper, how I love thee:
Your ugly outer layer (red, cream, and blue seashells and stripes, in this case), it pleases me. It gives me strange pleasure because it is hideous, and now I can kill it and MAKE IT GO AWAY. It peels off in BIG (aahhhh), HUGE (mmmm), INTACT (oh-oh-OH!!!!) sheets.
Your stuck-on underlayer is also pleasing, in it's own special way. It needs more time and attention than the first layer.
I must first get it wet with a sponge...soothing!
Then I wait...just a few seconds more!
Then, I dig in with my flexible, flat blade scraper...sweet!
Sometimes it is a challenge, and the paper takes much repeated scraping and peeling, probably because some crazy-ass wallpaper-er got a little wild with the glue.
But other times? When I am lucky and have been blessed by the WALLPAPER GODS?
THOSE are the times I live for, because those are the times when my flexible, flat blade scraper SLLLLLIIIIIIDES under that underlayer of wallpaper and it begins to come off in ONE BIG, HUGE, WET, INTACT SHEET that just slowly (take your time, now!), gently (savor it!), peels away.
And then repeat. Wall after wall. It is weirdly soothing to me. In a regular day, the most I accomplish is microwaving food, washing some dishes, breaking up a fight or ten, and possibly doing a load of laundry. But when I'm stripping wallpaper?!? The world is MINE! ACCOMPLISHMENT! SUCCESS! UM, MAYBE I NEED TO GET OUT MORE?
Wallpaper, I hate you! Loathe you! You are STUPID! *hit with scraper*
Okay, I can't think of much I hate about stripping wallpaper. But the wallpaper itself? HATE IT. Even when it is tasteful wallpaper (is that an oxymoron?).
Wallpaper, though stripping it obviously brings me great joy, IS NOT GOOD.
INTERNET! Quit wallpapering your houses! Because someday, you will probably move, and someone will hate your wallpaper and have to spend hours and hours and hours and hours removing it and then get all freaky, and like, BE FORCED TO REMODEL THEIR WHOLE DAMN BATHROOM, AND QUITE POSSIBLY THE REST OF THE HOUSE TOO.
Paint it. Just PAINT IT. Paint is nice, and someone who moves in after you can just paint right over it if they feel like it! And there are all those fun paint techniques - sponging, ragging, texturing. Go crazy!
Just put down the glue. Walk away. Go get yourself a nice, new paintbrush.
P.S. I'd really like to post pictures of the wretched wallpaper, but apparently, Blogger is not feeling up to it today.
7 Comments:
I, too, adore peeling wallpaper off - probably 'cause I hate putting it UP so much (which I was forced to do many times in many forms as a child).
I don't think you're a freak, or that you need to get out more... I think wallpaper peeling = soothing = perfect sense.
Then again, it's almost midnight and I just had caffeine for the first time in about 5 months... so I'm probably not making a lot of sense at this point. Sorry 'bout that, darlin'. ;)
I hate wallpaper too and that includes cutsie coordinating borders! After we bought our house I removed full wallpaper from the bathroom and 2 borders from bedrooms. I still have one bedroom to go and also the living room, kitchen, and half bath if I ever want to repaint those. The previous owners were very "border happy." And unlike you, I hate every second of removing them. I will NEVER put wallpaper anywhere in my house! NEVER!
wallpaper is foul and must be destroyed.
Ha, good to know I'm not the only one who finds great joy in peeling things. Last week my husband sprayed round up around our AC unit. Imagine my joy when I started pulling up the weeds and huge pieces of earth came up with the roots, lol. Sorry if that was TMI :-)
uh! i HATE wallpaper! most of it's soooo ugly! yuck! if people want to put seashells on their bathroom walls, they should really just stencil the seashells on with paint. it'll look prettier and it is sooo much easier to cover up!
When we did our house, were lucky enough to be peeling nasty wallpaper from the 70's, so it was old enough to peel like a ripe banana. And MAN it was some distasteful stuff. Are you using Dif and the little hole pokey thingy? That stuff works well. Good luck!
(And, yes, I am sure that hole pokey thingy is absolutely its proper term.)
Commenters! I'm so delighted that I am not alone in my hating of wallpaper! I thought this might be the post that made you all decide to stop reading. Whew!
p.s. cpa mom, i would have been over there in SECONDS. yellow? nascar? omg.
p.s.s. lost a sock, i never found need for the holey pokey thing, although everybody kept recommending one, and not sure what Dif is. just water and a sponge...i wouldn't want to make things EASIER on myself :)
Post a Comment
<< Home