Most of you know that I live in southwest Missouri. What you may not know is that I'm just miles away from Branson. Which means as a teenager, much like every other teenager that grows up in this area (currently including my seventeen year old brother), I worked at Silver Dollar City (the other standard options being White Water or working at one of those cheesy country music theaters).
I started working there at sixteen, and stayed until I graduated college at twenty-two. I worked both in Food Services AND Rides and Attractions, so that means I've accumulated a wealth of knowledge about visiting theme parks.
Since it's Holy High Vacation Time around the country, I thought I'd share a few tips with you.
1. When you enter the park, go LEFT. EVERYONE goes right, and that's where all the people traffic and bottlenecks are. Plus, if you are at Silver Dollar City (SDC), if you go left you can walk DOWN what we locals call Heart Attack Hill, instead of having to walk UP it at the end of a tiring day.
2. When you go on a water ride, DO NOT buy one of those ridiculous ponchos to keep from getting wet. The ride attendants will laugh at you hysterically, and may also attempt to dump buckets of water on YOU specifically.
3. After exiting a water ride, your pants will probably be totally soaked. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT sit on a wooden bench until your pants dry. You may have the cutest, tiniest behind in the whole park, but the gigantic, spreading, wet ass print you will leave for all the world to see can be quite humiliating.
4. Don't be a classic tourist. When I first started working, a little old woman came up to my cart, holding her park map and looking incredibly confused. Her question to me? "I just cannot figure out where the cave tours are, and I was here years ago. Have they MOVED the cave?" OMG.
5. Do not flirt with the male ride attendants. They all have girlfriends, but they will lie to you and swear they don't. Do not slip them phone numbers. It is a theme park, not a bar. (I know most of you are married and do not need this advice, but pass it on to your cousins and nieces.)
6. If you are at a theme park where the employees must wear a costume, DO NOT ask them if they are hot. YES, THEY ARE HOT, AND ALSO REALLY HUNG-OVER FROM PARTYING THE NIGHT BEFORE. My SDC uniform included: black nylon knee socks, black work boots, knee length "bloomers", an ankle length dress with long sleeves and a high collar, an apron, AND a handkerchief to cover my hair. Hot is an understatement.
7. Don't complain about the ridiculously high prices of food and drinks. The employees have nothing to do with it, and we don't get to eat free. Just come prepared and bring your own water bottle, snacks, and sandwiches in a backpack with a couple of cold packs inside.
8. Spread out your visit over two days. Packing it all into one day may kill you.
9. If your kid is too short to ride something (even just an inch), according to the measuring guide at the entrance, don't wait in the hour long line anyway just hoping if you look them pleadingly in the eyes the attendants will let the kid go anyway. THEY WON'T, and you and your hot, screaming child will be pissed.
When I interviewed for my first teaching job, SDC was the only real work experience I had to draw on. When the principals would ask what skills I learned there would be beneficial to me as a teacher, my answer was always that I had great communication skills when dealing with angry, irrational customers. Much like dealing with angry, irrational parents at teacher conferences. I got three out of the four jobs I interviewed for.
SDC is also where I met my husband (he worked at The Lost River ride, and I sneaked him free caramel apples), and at the after work parties, where I met some of my most fun-loving friends, learned to do a proper tequila shot, and developed a huge repertoire of drinking games involving a deck of cards.
Remember THAT next time you jump on that roller coaster. Heehee.
I started working there at sixteen, and stayed until I graduated college at twenty-two. I worked both in Food Services AND Rides and Attractions, so that means I've accumulated a wealth of knowledge about visiting theme parks.
Since it's Holy High Vacation Time around the country, I thought I'd share a few tips with you.
1. When you enter the park, go LEFT. EVERYONE goes right, and that's where all the people traffic and bottlenecks are. Plus, if you are at Silver Dollar City (SDC), if you go left you can walk DOWN what we locals call Heart Attack Hill, instead of having to walk UP it at the end of a tiring day.
2. When you go on a water ride, DO NOT buy one of those ridiculous ponchos to keep from getting wet. The ride attendants will laugh at you hysterically, and may also attempt to dump buckets of water on YOU specifically.
3. After exiting a water ride, your pants will probably be totally soaked. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT sit on a wooden bench until your pants dry. You may have the cutest, tiniest behind in the whole park, but the gigantic, spreading, wet ass print you will leave for all the world to see can be quite humiliating.
4. Don't be a classic tourist. When I first started working, a little old woman came up to my cart, holding her park map and looking incredibly confused. Her question to me? "I just cannot figure out where the cave tours are, and I was here years ago. Have they MOVED the cave?" OMG.
5. Do not flirt with the male ride attendants. They all have girlfriends, but they will lie to you and swear they don't. Do not slip them phone numbers. It is a theme park, not a bar. (I know most of you are married and do not need this advice, but pass it on to your cousins and nieces.)
6. If you are at a theme park where the employees must wear a costume, DO NOT ask them if they are hot. YES, THEY ARE HOT, AND ALSO REALLY HUNG-OVER FROM PARTYING THE NIGHT BEFORE. My SDC uniform included: black nylon knee socks, black work boots, knee length "bloomers", an ankle length dress with long sleeves and a high collar, an apron, AND a handkerchief to cover my hair. Hot is an understatement.
7. Don't complain about the ridiculously high prices of food and drinks. The employees have nothing to do with it, and we don't get to eat free. Just come prepared and bring your own water bottle, snacks, and sandwiches in a backpack with a couple of cold packs inside.
8. Spread out your visit over two days. Packing it all into one day may kill you.
9. If your kid is too short to ride something (even just an inch), according to the measuring guide at the entrance, don't wait in the hour long line anyway just hoping if you look them pleadingly in the eyes the attendants will let the kid go anyway. THEY WON'T, and you and your hot, screaming child will be pissed.
When I interviewed for my first teaching job, SDC was the only real work experience I had to draw on. When the principals would ask what skills I learned there would be beneficial to me as a teacher, my answer was always that I had great communication skills when dealing with angry, irrational customers. Much like dealing with angry, irrational parents at teacher conferences. I got three out of the four jobs I interviewed for.
SDC is also where I met my husband (he worked at The Lost River ride, and I sneaked him free caramel apples), and at the after work parties, where I met some of my most fun-loving friends, learned to do a proper tequila shot, and developed a huge repertoire of drinking games involving a deck of cards.
Remember THAT next time you jump on that roller coaster. Heehee.
6 Comments:
Great Advice about "Heart Attack Hill" we go down it first thing and then once we are at the bottom we cut through on a side street to other attractions. I have never climbed all of the way up that hill in all the years I have gone to the City.
I am anxious to take a lantern tour of the cave in the evening. Am I nuts? Maegan isn't as excited as I am.
Two weeks ago I was with a group waiting in the dark part of the lost river for a ride when a teenager behind me yelled "look at that is that bat real or a prop? I am going to touch it to see (of course).
Long story short the bat got upset and they had to close the ride until the bad could be relocated to the cave. What a fun trip!
Carey
Perfect timing! We just got home from Sea World and my husband and I were shocked that our lunch cost $40 (3 hot dogs, fries, a sandwich, and drinks). Holy crap!! We didn't bitch to the employees though, so I guess I followed your advice. :)
Stacey-I am catching up with my comments. LOL All of you look gorgeous in the pictures. I always love your pregnancy photos. Also-what dead body was at our Wal-mart while I was on vacation? EEEKKKK!
That's some good advice. Maybe one day I'll take my family to SDC and I'll feel like a "cool kid" for knowing to go LEFT first and avoid Heart Attack Hill at the end of the day (and maybe laugh at people are aren't as cool as me with the inside scoop).
You know whats worse?
Being a lifeguard and knowing what they do the night before they go up on the stand and are put in charge of saving your life. Yeah, I was once a lifeguard. It's not pretty. Remember THAT next time you go in the wave pool.
My parents honeymooned at SDC. Me? I've never been there. But I'll keep the tips in mind. Can you teach me the drinking games? Seeing as how I'm drinking a bottle of wine.right.now.
I've never been to Branson, and due to your advice if I ever do make it there, I'll know what to do and what not to do!
:)
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