Here is some helpful information to you moms with young children: Taking a 2 year old to the Urgent Care Center will NOT get you in to see the doctor ANY faster.
Yesterday, after breaking out in beads of sweat in our 69 degree house, I took my temperature and discovered I had a slight fever of 100 degrees. I had suspected for a week or so that I had another one of the silent UTI's my body is so fond of, but when the burning pain in my side / back started, I figured the "Ignore It and It Will Go Away" method was possibly not working.
So at 5:00, daughter L and I headed to the Urgent Care.
Waited 20 minutes just to get checked in. Immediately go back and pee in a cup for the lab.
Suckers eaten: 2 Bathroom visits: 1
Get checked in, nurse takes me back for vitals and medical history. Nurse takes her time, while L chants, "I need to POOP." I ignore her, knowing that "I need to poop" translates to "I want to see another new bathroom." Nurse looks more and more nervous with each poop request. Finishes with me in a rush and says, "There's a bathroom right around this corner!"
Suckers eaten: 2 Bathroom visits: 1
Back to the waiting room, as patient rooms are all full. Wait one hour. I read magazines and copy down good recipes on the back of my grocery list (because, remember, I am a food-a-holic). L runs back and forth from our seat to the trashcans, uses baby wipes to "clean" all the waiting room chairs, says "hi" to all the other waiting patients.
Suckers eaten: 4 Bathroom visits: 3 Sucker sticks placed up nose: 1
Technician from lab, who is either having a slow night OR was being driven nuts by the sugared up toddler racing around outside her office, comes out and takes us back to the lab. She is very kind to L and offers her sugar free suckers, stickers, a package of peanut butter crackers, and some apple juice. Go L! My girl KNOWS how to get what she wants! Back to waiting room, but with reinforcements!
Suckers eaten: 3 Bathroom visits: 1
More waiting...finally we are taken to a room (with it's own bathroom, thank God). It's about 7:30 now. Slow Nervous nurse cheerfully informs me that "your lab results are back!", then closes the door.
I sneak some of L's peanut butter crackers, praying no one opens the door while my mouth is full of illicit crackers I have stolen from my baby daughter. L begs for "Gloves! GLOVES!" I figure the it's the least we deserve to steal from a 2-1/2 hour doctor visit with a toddler, so I give her 2 rubber gloves to play with, and they keep her entertained the entire time.
We wait 30 more minutes for a doctor to come back and actually TELL ME the results of the lab work.
Suckers eaten: 2 Bathroom visits: 1
Doctor arrives. Immediately takes gloves away from L and informs me Very Seriously that "These gloves contain a toxic powder inside that can be fatal to young children if it is inhaled into their lungs." He then proceeds to draw a face on a tongue depressor stick and gives it to L as a replacement for the Toxic Gloves.
I am so RELIEVED that he saved my daughter from the Dangers of the Toxic Gloves. It TOTALLY won't be a big deal when she uses the six inch piece of wood to gouge out her eyes. I refrain from telling him that L has eaten men's deodorant, has drunk a big chug of Triaminic straight from the bottle, and licked approximately 264 Walmart cart handles, and as her mother, I REALLY don't think a little powder would hurt her, but then again, what do I know?
Doctor proceeds to spend 15 minutes asking me the SAME MEDICAL HISTORY QUESTIONS I already answered for Slow Nervous nurse, while flipping through the chart of my previous answers. It must be a TEST. I answer carefully, making sure I give the same answers before. After all, he already thinks I am a Negligent Mother, with the gloves and all, so I don't want him to think I'm a Liar TOO.
8:30. Final diagnosis - "I think you have a bladder infection, with a possible infection of your left kidney. Call back Wednesday for final lab results on that. Someone will be right in with your prescription!" 15 more minutes waiting for nurse.
Suckers eaten: 3 Bathroom visits: 1
8:45. Nurse brings a prescription and follow up care instructions. Launches into long lecture about taking ALL the antibiotics, and how some people don't, and then the bacteria get STRONGER...I cut her off, telling her that I have been on a lot of antibiotics and I know the deal. Holy CRAP. Can no one SEE the 2 year old bouncing off that wall over there????
TOTAL suckers: 16
TOTAL bathroom visits: 8
TOTAL sucker sticks up nose: 1
COMPLICATIONS FROM Toxic Gloves: None yet, but you know I'll keep a close eye on that.
Yesterday, after breaking out in beads of sweat in our 69 degree house, I took my temperature and discovered I had a slight fever of 100 degrees. I had suspected for a week or so that I had another one of the silent UTI's my body is so fond of, but when the burning pain in my side / back started, I figured the "Ignore It and It Will Go Away" method was possibly not working.
So at 5:00, daughter L and I headed to the Urgent Care.
Waited 20 minutes just to get checked in. Immediately go back and pee in a cup for the lab.
Suckers eaten: 2 Bathroom visits: 1
Get checked in, nurse takes me back for vitals and medical history. Nurse takes her time, while L chants, "I need to POOP." I ignore her, knowing that "I need to poop" translates to "I want to see another new bathroom." Nurse looks more and more nervous with each poop request. Finishes with me in a rush and says, "There's a bathroom right around this corner!"
Suckers eaten: 2 Bathroom visits: 1
Back to the waiting room, as patient rooms are all full. Wait one hour. I read magazines and copy down good recipes on the back of my grocery list (because, remember, I am a food-a-holic). L runs back and forth from our seat to the trashcans, uses baby wipes to "clean" all the waiting room chairs, says "hi" to all the other waiting patients.
Suckers eaten: 4 Bathroom visits: 3 Sucker sticks placed up nose: 1
Technician from lab, who is either having a slow night OR was being driven nuts by the sugared up toddler racing around outside her office, comes out and takes us back to the lab. She is very kind to L and offers her sugar free suckers, stickers, a package of peanut butter crackers, and some apple juice. Go L! My girl KNOWS how to get what she wants! Back to waiting room, but with reinforcements!
Suckers eaten: 3 Bathroom visits: 1
More waiting...finally we are taken to a room (with it's own bathroom, thank God). It's about 7:30 now. Slow Nervous nurse cheerfully informs me that "your lab results are back!", then closes the door.
I sneak some of L's peanut butter crackers, praying no one opens the door while my mouth is full of illicit crackers I have stolen from my baby daughter. L begs for "Gloves! GLOVES!" I figure the it's the least we deserve to steal from a 2-1/2 hour doctor visit with a toddler, so I give her 2 rubber gloves to play with, and they keep her entertained the entire time.
We wait 30 more minutes for a doctor to come back and actually TELL ME the results of the lab work.
Suckers eaten: 2 Bathroom visits: 1
Doctor arrives. Immediately takes gloves away from L and informs me Very Seriously that "These gloves contain a toxic powder inside that can be fatal to young children if it is inhaled into their lungs." He then proceeds to draw a face on a tongue depressor stick and gives it to L as a replacement for the Toxic Gloves.
I am so RELIEVED that he saved my daughter from the Dangers of the Toxic Gloves. It TOTALLY won't be a big deal when she uses the six inch piece of wood to gouge out her eyes. I refrain from telling him that L has eaten men's deodorant, has drunk a big chug of Triaminic straight from the bottle, and licked approximately 264 Walmart cart handles, and as her mother, I REALLY don't think a little powder would hurt her, but then again, what do I know?
Doctor proceeds to spend 15 minutes asking me the SAME MEDICAL HISTORY QUESTIONS I already answered for Slow Nervous nurse, while flipping through the chart of my previous answers. It must be a TEST. I answer carefully, making sure I give the same answers before. After all, he already thinks I am a Negligent Mother, with the gloves and all, so I don't want him to think I'm a Liar TOO.
8:30. Final diagnosis - "I think you have a bladder infection, with a possible infection of your left kidney. Call back Wednesday for final lab results on that. Someone will be right in with your prescription!" 15 more minutes waiting for nurse.
Suckers eaten: 3 Bathroom visits: 1
8:45. Nurse brings a prescription and follow up care instructions. Launches into long lecture about taking ALL the antibiotics, and how some people don't, and then the bacteria get STRONGER...I cut her off, telling her that I have been on a lot of antibiotics and I know the deal. Holy CRAP. Can no one SEE the 2 year old bouncing off that wall over there????
TOTAL suckers: 16
TOTAL bathroom visits: 8
TOTAL sucker sticks up nose: 1
COMPLICATIONS FROM Toxic Gloves: None yet, but you know I'll keep a close eye on that.
6 Comments:
This is a test comment. Donna, can you hear me??
Donna, I turned the letter thing off! Can you hear me now? Is this thing on???
good work...it's working again.
Stacey It's me, the dumb a@# that can't remember her password now or her web page or anything else for that matter. Here is my ? what prescription did they give you? Will I get credit for it? HA HA HA
The fact that your life sounds EXACTLY like mine.....PRICELESS!!!
Erica...it was Cipro...is that yours?? LOL.
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