I am not a bath a day girl. Now before you recoil in repulsion, let me just tell you - I am perfectly clean. I brush my teeth, wash my face, and comb my hair twice a day. I wash my hands all day long. But I just happen to believe daily bathing / hair washing is over rated. It's not like I'm out digging trenches in 115 degree heat every day. I actually have had quite a few co-workers tell me how good I smell or what a great shampoo scent I must use. I just smile and say thank you and enjoy my dirty little secret and think about how much water I'm saving and they're not.
That habit began during my college days. My roomate E and I would laugh (drunkenly) about how long we had gone without showers. But it was 1995, people...you know, grunge and stringy hair and Nirvana and "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (and we did!).
I tell you all this so that when I tell you my children do not take baths every day, you know they come by it honestly.
When G and L were newborns, baths were such a PRODUCTION. 6 towels, 3 baby washcloths, wash water, rinse water, baby soap, baby shampoo, those head scrubbers they give you at the hospital, nose sucker bulbs (what are those called?) in case the child got water up their nose, lotion, cute ducky robe and slippers for taking pictures afterwards. Are you getting the sense that I tend to overdo things?
Plus, G had eczema and the DOCTOR told us we shouldn't give baths every day. Also, I'm crazy about the "Little House On the Prairie" books and they only took baths on Saturday. And they got really dirty all week long. So it's always been an every 2 or 3 day event in our house.
And I do mean EVENT. When I informed my friend, K, that I don't bathe the offspring daily, she seemed quite surprised, as evening baths are a bedtime ritual for her children.
Here's how last night's Bath Night went.
Us - Kids, it's bath night!
G - Bath. BATH! Get naked!!
L - Gettin' NAKEN!!
Children proceed to strip off clothes, leaving trail of clothes from kitchen to living room to bathroom.
Children dance around naked for a while.
L tells G to "See my body!" (her word for bottom) while mooning him.
G says "See my pee pee!" (our word for winky, no correct terms in this house).
Children fall over each other trying to get in the tub, then fight over who will sit at the front.
(I guess it's starting to sound like they should have separate baths at this point, but if you think I'm going to go through this routine TWICE in a night, you should think again).
Children get hair and bodies thoroughly scrubbed and rinsed, screaming and hissing like wet cats when water touches their eyes.
Much water is thrown on my (now peeling) linoleum floor. Bath water is being drunk. Winkies are pulled (by L). Arms are pinched (by G). Wet bottoms are spanked (by Mommy). By the way, wet bottoms are the best for getting the most for your spanking buck.
We tell the children bath time is over and pull them screaming from the tub, as they grasp to hang on the edges of the tub by their fingernails. I, the Non Daily Bather, sometimes wash the black bottoms of my feet in the draining water, my own little spa treatment right in the comfort of my own home.
L takes off running with a towel over her head, blindly crashing into walls and couches and laughing like a hyena, yelling "you no catch me!!", then declares her self "Supah-Man".*
G hangs his towel from his head and informs us he is "Neighborhood" (Red Riding Hood).*
*We will discuss my children's gender issues at a later date*
Sometimes, when we really get lucky on bath night, someone will pee on the carpet while naked.
Children eventually end up smelling like baby lotion, with clean ears, trimmed nails, and pajamas on.
Hubby is mixing himself a gin and tonic with a vacant expression on his face. Make it a double, dear.
That habit began during my college days. My roomate E and I would laugh (drunkenly) about how long we had gone without showers. But it was 1995, people...you know, grunge and stringy hair and Nirvana and "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (and we did!).
I tell you all this so that when I tell you my children do not take baths every day, you know they come by it honestly.
When G and L were newborns, baths were such a PRODUCTION. 6 towels, 3 baby washcloths, wash water, rinse water, baby soap, baby shampoo, those head scrubbers they give you at the hospital, nose sucker bulbs (what are those called?) in case the child got water up their nose, lotion, cute ducky robe and slippers for taking pictures afterwards. Are you getting the sense that I tend to overdo things?
Plus, G had eczema and the DOCTOR told us we shouldn't give baths every day. Also, I'm crazy about the "Little House On the Prairie" books and they only took baths on Saturday. And they got really dirty all week long. So it's always been an every 2 or 3 day event in our house.
And I do mean EVENT. When I informed my friend, K, that I don't bathe the offspring daily, she seemed quite surprised, as evening baths are a bedtime ritual for her children.
Here's how last night's Bath Night went.
Us - Kids, it's bath night!
G - Bath. BATH! Get naked!!
L - Gettin' NAKEN!!
Children proceed to strip off clothes, leaving trail of clothes from kitchen to living room to bathroom.
Children dance around naked for a while.
L tells G to "See my body!" (her word for bottom) while mooning him.
G says "See my pee pee!" (our word for winky, no correct terms in this house).
Children fall over each other trying to get in the tub, then fight over who will sit at the front.
(I guess it's starting to sound like they should have separate baths at this point, but if you think I'm going to go through this routine TWICE in a night, you should think again).
Children get hair and bodies thoroughly scrubbed and rinsed, screaming and hissing like wet cats when water touches their eyes.
Much water is thrown on my (now peeling) linoleum floor. Bath water is being drunk. Winkies are pulled (by L). Arms are pinched (by G). Wet bottoms are spanked (by Mommy). By the way, wet bottoms are the best for getting the most for your spanking buck.
We tell the children bath time is over and pull them screaming from the tub, as they grasp to hang on the edges of the tub by their fingernails. I, the Non Daily Bather, sometimes wash the black bottoms of my feet in the draining water, my own little spa treatment right in the comfort of my own home.
L takes off running with a towel over her head, blindly crashing into walls and couches and laughing like a hyena, yelling "you no catch me!!", then declares her self "Supah-Man".*
G hangs his towel from his head and informs us he is "Neighborhood" (Red Riding Hood).*
*We will discuss my children's gender issues at a later date*
Sometimes, when we really get lucky on bath night, someone will pee on the carpet while naked.
Children eventually end up smelling like baby lotion, with clean ears, trimmed nails, and pajamas on.
Hubby is mixing himself a gin and tonic with a vacant expression on his face. Make it a double, dear.
2 Comments:
I figured that one fell along the lines of too much information...but I could be starting a WATER SAVING revolution!!
the nose-bulb sucker things are called "aspirators."
the secret knowledge of moms!
and yes, stacey, i'm still reading your blog!
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