Okay. I'm not done with questions yet. I totally missed the boat on "Fat Friday". I just can't get it together, people!
So I've just decided to send out some random, non-sensical, silly little bits of craziness. Because I have started, and then deleted, no less than five blog entries this weekend. I just can't FOCUS.
You know when I said in that last post, about me being good at multi-tasking? Well, that depends on exactly how you define "good at". If you mean I start taping off the baseboards to paint the bathroom, and then realize suddenly that we're out of milk and I must go to Wal-Mart AGAIN, so I go, and then when I come back I start painting the trim in the bathroom, and then realize CRAP, I need to water the plants as they are looking dead, and then I realize I'm out of my crazy pills (anti-anxiety meds, no hard core stuff as of yet) and I better call in a refill so I don't GO BONKERS, and then I start returning other phone calls to friends who've left messages, and then I realize that I LEFT THE DAMN PAINT OPEN and it's all stringy? Then YES! I am ABSOLUTELY good at multitasking!
So anyway. The random bits, in no particular order.
A few days ago, G came up to me and said, "Are you being a GOOD mommy today?". I replied, "I'm trying, G. Are you being a good boy today?". "Some," he said. Good answer G. Because if you'd said "yes", I would have to send you to time-out for being dishonest.
Since I'm still gaining weight at the rate of about 1/2 pound a week (no I'm not exaggerating, and no, I'm not pregnant), I have made the switch from REAL SUGAR to SPLENDA in my coffee. I bet that has totally been my problem ALL ALONG. Why, yes, I am in denial, thank you for asking! Now pass the ice cream. Amen.
Speaking of not being pregnant, when I rock my children at night and then they are all serene and peaceful and angelic, I WANT ANOTHER BABY. God help me, they're just going to have to quit sleeping so I don't go and do something insane. Oh wait. Not sleeping would not be good, either. Never mind. There are not a lot of *relations* going on in this house anyway...no worries!
I got to give a plastic baby doll the Heimlich Maneuver over the sink a few days ago, as my daughter had crammed a wet, partially chewed vitamin in the doll's mouth, and L was very distressed that the baby didn't "wallow" (swallow). I totally saved her - I ROCK!
Every where we go, my newly potty-trained daughter insists on yelling, "I have to PEE!" until I give in and take her to yet ANOTHER 'new' bathroom, where she ends up releasing exactly four drops of pee. On my last Walmart visit, I decided that mama's DONE playing that game, and knowing she had gone just before we left the house, I IGNORED HER PEE DEMANDS...
...and I paid the price, because just as I was closing in on the last item on my list, she stood up in the back of the cart, squatted, and peed, right in front of God and Walmart shoppers. I saw what she was about to do and actually said, "NO! Stop! STOP IT NOW!" and attempted to shield the whole scene with my body, while my 3 year old son watched her with a look of horror, disgust, and admiration.
And then I ran up to a deli worker and said, "My daughter had, um, a little, um, accident by the donuts...yeah, where you see the miniature kleenex lying on the floor," and then we got the hell out of there.
Also, please keep in mind that in order to keep four grubby little paws from destroying / opening everything in my cart, I put a lot of stuff on that bottom rack underneath the cart. So, husband! Don't worry! I totally wiped off the box of danish with my handy mini-pack of Kleenex!
So there you go - random bits. I'll get myself all back together by Tuesday, hopefully! Everybody have a fun weekend!
So I've just decided to send out some random, non-sensical, silly little bits of craziness. Because I have started, and then deleted, no less than five blog entries this weekend. I just can't FOCUS.
You know when I said in that last post, about me being good at multi-tasking? Well, that depends on exactly how you define "good at". If you mean I start taping off the baseboards to paint the bathroom, and then realize suddenly that we're out of milk and I must go to Wal-Mart AGAIN, so I go, and then when I come back I start painting the trim in the bathroom, and then realize CRAP, I need to water the plants as they are looking dead, and then I realize I'm out of my crazy pills (anti-anxiety meds, no hard core stuff as of yet) and I better call in a refill so I don't GO BONKERS, and then I start returning other phone calls to friends who've left messages, and then I realize that I LEFT THE DAMN PAINT OPEN and it's all stringy? Then YES! I am ABSOLUTELY good at multitasking!
So anyway. The random bits, in no particular order.
A few days ago, G came up to me and said, "Are you being a GOOD mommy today?". I replied, "I'm trying, G. Are you being a good boy today?". "Some," he said. Good answer G. Because if you'd said "yes", I would have to send you to time-out for being dishonest.
Since I'm still gaining weight at the rate of about 1/2 pound a week (no I'm not exaggerating, and no, I'm not pregnant), I have made the switch from REAL SUGAR to SPLENDA in my coffee. I bet that has totally been my problem ALL ALONG. Why, yes, I am in denial, thank you for asking! Now pass the ice cream. Amen.
Speaking of not being pregnant, when I rock my children at night and then they are all serene and peaceful and angelic, I WANT ANOTHER BABY. God help me, they're just going to have to quit sleeping so I don't go and do something insane. Oh wait. Not sleeping would not be good, either. Never mind. There are not a lot of *relations* going on in this house anyway...no worries!
I got to give a plastic baby doll the Heimlich Maneuver over the sink a few days ago, as my daughter had crammed a wet, partially chewed vitamin in the doll's mouth, and L was very distressed that the baby didn't "wallow" (swallow). I totally saved her - I ROCK!
Every where we go, my newly potty-trained daughter insists on yelling, "I have to PEE!" until I give in and take her to yet ANOTHER 'new' bathroom, where she ends up releasing exactly four drops of pee. On my last Walmart visit, I decided that mama's DONE playing that game, and knowing she had gone just before we left the house, I IGNORED HER PEE DEMANDS...
...and I paid the price, because just as I was closing in on the last item on my list, she stood up in the back of the cart, squatted, and peed, right in front of God and Walmart shoppers. I saw what she was about to do and actually said, "NO! Stop! STOP IT NOW!" and attempted to shield the whole scene with my body, while my 3 year old son watched her with a look of horror, disgust, and admiration.
And then I ran up to a deli worker and said, "My daughter had, um, a little, um, accident by the donuts...yeah, where you see the miniature kleenex lying on the floor," and then we got the hell out of there.
Also, please keep in mind that in order to keep four grubby little paws from destroying / opening everything in my cart, I put a lot of stuff on that bottom rack underneath the cart. So, husband! Don't worry! I totally wiped off the box of danish with my handy mini-pack of Kleenex!
So there you go - random bits. I'll get myself all back together by Tuesday, hopefully! Everybody have a fun weekend!
7 Comments:
Your Wal-Mart story made me laugh out loud. I wonder how many kids attempt to pee in shopping stores? :)
Too funny! Thank you for the laugh. My son is dipping water out of toilet and spitting into tub. How is that for gross. It is ok though cause I just cleaned it. No really I am screaming at him to please stop and go watch Thomas while I laugh my a@# off at your daughter peeing in Wally World. Such a great mom am I.
Maybe the serenity and peacefulness of sleeping children is related to the increase in population. Think about it. The little angels lull you into wanting more babies when they are sleeping. And, when is the best time to make babies?
When the kids are sleeping; that's when.
ha! omg, i don't know what i would've done if my kid had done that! :)
Dude... maybe I should rethink this whole "being a mommy" thing. Gah - peeing in Walmart?? While it IS hilarious picturing it happening to someone else, it is somewhat less hilarious when I tell myself "you know, YOU'RE going to have a little one, and she's going to be YOUR daughter... and she's going to do a LOT WORSE than pee at Walmart"... and that totally wiped the smirk off my face.
Bah.
Bwaaa-haaaa-haaaaa! You crack me up! That whole post was so funny. I lurve you!
And side note, I think MJD totally wants you to have another baby.
lizziep! I'm glad you're here...enjoy!
Everybody else...you are cracking me up. Pee stories, walmart stories - you all are so easy to please!
Silly hily...I think you're right about mjd :)
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