Lies I tell myself:
1. I MUST have a Frappucino to gear up for the everlasting day ahead with my children.
2. I dug up weeds for 20 minutes today, so I must have burned off like 500 calories. I mean, the squatting made my legs REALLY tired!
3. My arms are so sore from rolling the paint roller for two hours, I bet that my arms will look more toned by morning!
4. I don't sleep well without ice cream before bed.
5. Turning 30 must have caused a sudden and dramatic drop in the proper functioning of my metabolism.
6. I just made it all the way through Walmart with two screaming toddlers...I DESERVE a pint of Ben and Jerry's!
7. It's baby weight.
8. I will not buy one more new item of clothing, except shoes, until I have lost this weight. Ha! Hahahaha! Tell that to the brand new "fat" pants in my closet.
9. I will only watch Young and the Restless while walking on the treadmill.
10. I've NEVER been that thin anyway.
Why do I keep doing this to myself? My attachment to food and not exercising must have reached it's peak by NOW. It's like I'm daring myself to see just how fat I can get before...what? Before WHAT?
As a matter of fact, this morning, in order to prepare for my son's birthday party tomorrow, I took G and L to daycare so I could have the day to work ALONE. And lo, my first thought after dropping them off? What should I go get to eat?
I drove by the closest place to my house that sells frozen coffee, and it was CLOSED. And that pretty much screwed up my entire morning. Do I come home and MAKE myself some coffee, find SOMETHING to eat at home? NO! I'm still sitting here, closing in on lunchtime, thinking about the Frappucino That Could Have Been, but on the other hand, fully knowing I don't need it. But I want one. And I haven't eaten all day...so maybe I'll just run out real quick...SEE? More lies!
The answer is as simple as self control. But I have none. NONE. If I want it, I have it, which is precisely why I am in the position I'm in now.
I've halfheartedly attempted Slimfast, Weight Watchers, Ultra 90 and I've bought a treadmill, countless exercise videos, and joined a gym more than once. I've read "Intuitive Eating", and I own a copy of "Get With The Program", written by Oprah's personal trainer.
I want, I NEED, a fast solution. I need to wake up one morning and have the fat thighs, jiggly tummy, swinging arms, and double chin GONE, so I can start fresh. I hate counting calories and being hungry and exercising every morning for two weeks and then discover I've only lost half a freaking pound. If I could just start over, with a thin body, I swear I would eat well, and exercise every day, and keep it that way FOREVER. Or is that just another lie I tell myself?
1. I MUST have a Frappucino to gear up for the everlasting day ahead with my children.
2. I dug up weeds for 20 minutes today, so I must have burned off like 500 calories. I mean, the squatting made my legs REALLY tired!
3. My arms are so sore from rolling the paint roller for two hours, I bet that my arms will look more toned by morning!
4. I don't sleep well without ice cream before bed.
5. Turning 30 must have caused a sudden and dramatic drop in the proper functioning of my metabolism.
6. I just made it all the way through Walmart with two screaming toddlers...I DESERVE a pint of Ben and Jerry's!
7. It's baby weight.
8. I will not buy one more new item of clothing, except shoes, until I have lost this weight. Ha! Hahahaha! Tell that to the brand new "fat" pants in my closet.
9. I will only watch Young and the Restless while walking on the treadmill.
10. I've NEVER been that thin anyway.
Why do I keep doing this to myself? My attachment to food and not exercising must have reached it's peak by NOW. It's like I'm daring myself to see just how fat I can get before...what? Before WHAT?
As a matter of fact, this morning, in order to prepare for my son's birthday party tomorrow, I took G and L to daycare so I could have the day to work ALONE. And lo, my first thought after dropping them off? What should I go get to eat?
I drove by the closest place to my house that sells frozen coffee, and it was CLOSED. And that pretty much screwed up my entire morning. Do I come home and MAKE myself some coffee, find SOMETHING to eat at home? NO! I'm still sitting here, closing in on lunchtime, thinking about the Frappucino That Could Have Been, but on the other hand, fully knowing I don't need it. But I want one. And I haven't eaten all day...so maybe I'll just run out real quick...SEE? More lies!
The answer is as simple as self control. But I have none. NONE. If I want it, I have it, which is precisely why I am in the position I'm in now.
I've halfheartedly attempted Slimfast, Weight Watchers, Ultra 90 and I've bought a treadmill, countless exercise videos, and joined a gym more than once. I've read "Intuitive Eating", and I own a copy of "Get With The Program", written by Oprah's personal trainer.
I want, I NEED, a fast solution. I need to wake up one morning and have the fat thighs, jiggly tummy, swinging arms, and double chin GONE, so I can start fresh. I hate counting calories and being hungry and exercising every morning for two weeks and then discover I've only lost half a freaking pound. If I could just start over, with a thin body, I swear I would eat well, and exercise every day, and keep it that way FOREVER. Or is that just another lie I tell myself?
8 Comments:
I HATE Waiting to loose the weight too. I know how you feel. After I had my son, I wanted to lose 30 lbs. I lost 15 before I got pregnant again, but I hated waiting for it to come off. Especially with the commercials where there are women going "I lost 2-5 lbs every week!" UGH!
Hi Crazy Mama - first time commentor here - although I read your blog daily and absolutely LOVE it! Not sure how I got here, but....yeah, still loving it. Anyway - I felt the need to comment. I had the same thought process as you've described for several years after I had my first child, then I went and had a second and well, I started South Beach not quite a year ago thinking 'yet again another diet gone bad, I'm just wasting my time' - but amazingly this time it's worked for me. I started a blog about it - check it out if you'd like -(http://mybigfatirishblog.blogspot.com/). I will do anything for anyone who's been through what I've been through. So keep at it, I have faith in you!!!!
I have no advice, because the times I've wanted to lose weight I've just... well, smartened up and done it *blush* I know, I suck, I'm sorry.
However, I DO have a problem with "sticking to programs", no matter what they are. I've found the easiest thing is just to make sure I'm not eating when I'm not hungry, taking smaller portions and then waiting 20 minutes to see if I'm still hungry, etc., etc., as you've heard 5 zillion times.
I think maybe you just need to accept yourself the way you are, and it'll make it less "yucky" to BE the way you are, and then it won't seem like such a big issue to CHANGE it and that will take a ton of pressure off. So... maybe you should be focusing on INSIDE you, not OUTSIDE you...
But then, I could be full of it. I don't know nothin' ;)
Number 4 is hysterical, and number 2 is so true! Painting over the last few days, I've felt like I must have burned a good eight bazillion calories. Except then I realized that really, I was just standing on a ladder instead of on the floor, moving my arm a bit more than usual.
Having lost just under 70 pounds in the last 8 months, I will tell you how I did it, because you and I seriously have a similar attitude about it. I wanted it gone immediately, also. And if you can get through the first ten pounds (which will take like, two or three weeks probably) you will feel good.
I started out with Weight Watchers (at home, no meetings) and I allowed myself more points than they did, because I did not want to starve. I gradually decreased them. I also found foods that did not feel so diety to me. While I did stop eating three waffles loaded in butter and jelly every morning, Quaker peaches-n-cream oatmeal totally fills me and I'm good to go. I found how to still eat chocolate and and ice cream and still stay in my points. Fudgesicles, Hershey's sticks, granola bars, etc. - all not bad. I did not exercise at all for the first month or two. To this day, I eat whatever I want one day a week.
I can't explain it, but after failing diets 800 times it's actually working this time. And if I can do it, ANYONE can do it.
You can do it! :0)
(Sorry for the novel. I feel like Tony freakin Robbins with the pep talk, haha)
I can offer words of encouragement all day long b/c I feel like I'm actually doing it this time since I've lost 47 lbs. since having Silly Boy 5 months ago BUT I will say that #6 is true. Walmart? Two toddlers? You totally deserve a pint of ice cream.
Honestly though, I was the same way. My whole thing was, tomorrow. I'll eat all day today and THEN start my diet tomorrow. I'll be a lazy ass today and then start exercising tomorrow. And then tomorrow would turn into the next day and the next day would turn into the next Monday. Really, you are just going to have to put your mind to it first, not matter what you do, in order to be successful at it. Just like with quitting smoking or drinking or whatever, people have to WANT to do it before it will be possible.
And I know you hate to hear this b/c I know I did but you have to have patience. This extra weight doesn't plop on us over night and we shouldn't expect it to come off over night. The extra weight has had years and years to pile on our bodies. It's going to take that long to get it off.
Let me know if I can help in anyway!
Amen, sister, amen!
Thanks for the great comments and advice. You all are so kind...and those of you who have successfully lost weight - you're an incredible source of inspiration for me. Thank you!
Unfortunately, I've been doing what Silly Hily said in regards to commitment. "Tomorrow is the day," I say. "It's better to finish off the Breyers by having two full bowls today than allowing it to tempt me with its presence tomorrow." Only I end up having a hot dog and fries for lunch the next day, and so tomorrow turns into never.
I've joined a gym and actually went four times this week. However, I fear that my eating habits are sabotaging my progress and have decided that enough is enough. I'm going to kick the ass of these bastard fifteen pounds starting TODAY. I've even enlisted an Internet Exercise Buddy for help.
God help both of us.
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