I must first post a disclaimer: This week, besides my regular babysitting job for the 3 month old and my own two children under age three, I've got a scrapbook to make for someone, three cakes to decorate, a funeral to attend, and my doctor still hasn't called me back about my anti-anxiety medication.
SO...if my blogging is sporadic this week, or totally boring, or just does not make any sense, BLAME THE ANXIETY. But I'll give it my best shot. I'm going to answer a few more questions from my ever growing list of questions from you all!
Kyndal asked: What did your mother do when you were a kid that you swore you would never do to your own kids? And do you do that thing?
Um, a list would be the best format for this answer. Here are a few of the things my mom did that I swore I would never do.
1. I will NEVER take my child to "grown up parties", staying late into the night, making my children go to sleep in guest beds while listening to all the "grown ups" having fun out in the living room.
2. I will NEVER absentmindedly reply "mmm-hmm" while my children are trying to tell me Terribly Important Things. I will listen and give a thoughtful reply.
3. I will NEVER resort to punishing out of anger, i.e. yanking ears, baring my teeth and making my lips disappear, swatting at any reachable body part in the backseat while I am driving.
And to answer the second part of your question? YES, I do every single one of those things. I can't help it. It must be genetic.
However, another thing my mom did that I said I'd never do was send Organic Fruit Leather in the lunchbox (instead of Fruit Roll Ups like the other kids) or try to pass off carob chips from the Whole Foods Store as chocolate chips...
...and I HAVEN'T!! Because friends, when it comes to food, my children will only have the REAL, WHOLE FAT, NAME BRAND THING. FROM WALMART. Because I'm serious about my food. Seriously.
One of Frema's questions (and I'll get to the rest later) was: What rules / parenting methods do you hold as non-negotiable?
Well, my husband and I have the same EXPECTATIONS of our children. We do not usually get the actual desired result, but since they are 2 and 3, I will cut them a LITTLE slack.
One of the earliest methods we both agreed on was We Will Not Rock Our Kids To Sleep. Now that is not to say that we didn't rock, cuddle, sing, and read at bedtime, but after the bedtime routine (and there is a ROUTINE), we have always put them in their beds, kissed them and said "Night-night!", and shut the door. And as a result (or because we got lucky), we have two children who will go to sleep by themselves, usually before 8:00. Woo hoo!
We also believe in teaching our children:
-no talking back or arguing.
-being respectful to their elders.
-no hitting.
-sitting still and being respectful in church, restaurants, and school.
-we also believe in spankings and time outs, and would like to only use both methods with love and only when absolutely necessary.
Now that I've stated all of our lovely, flowery ideals, let me get one annoying little detail out of the way...we've not exactly SUCCEEDED in accomplishing all of these things. But we're going to keep at it for approximately sixteen more years. IF the children don't kill us first.
And, if you ever actually see me and my children out in public, you'd probably wonder if it was my other personality that wrote all that stuff about "children behaving, sitting still, being respectful, blah, blah, blah." But I swear! We're trying!
Donna asked: Tell me about your last "bad wife and mother" moments and how you handled them.
DONNA! There are too many! Where will I start????
Most recent bad mother moment:
G and L were begging me to push them on the swing set, and I kept saying, "In a minute, in a minute!", because I was reading my book, and then it got to be time to start supper, and I told them to "Go play!" and then it was bath time, and it got dark, and I never did push them on the swing. I felt - and still feel - awful about it.
I have one bad mother moment after another all day long, and I just move on quickly and resolve to try and do better tomorrow.
Most recent bad wife moment:
Watching a tape of Young and the Restless and eating ice cream in bed while my husband stood next to me folding mounds of neglected laundry.
Again, one bad wife moment after another, but for some reason, he puts up with me!
SO...if my blogging is sporadic this week, or totally boring, or just does not make any sense, BLAME THE ANXIETY. But I'll give it my best shot. I'm going to answer a few more questions from my ever growing list of questions from you all!
Kyndal asked: What did your mother do when you were a kid that you swore you would never do to your own kids? And do you do that thing?
Um, a list would be the best format for this answer. Here are a few of the things my mom did that I swore I would never do.
1. I will NEVER take my child to "grown up parties", staying late into the night, making my children go to sleep in guest beds while listening to all the "grown ups" having fun out in the living room.
2. I will NEVER absentmindedly reply "mmm-hmm" while my children are trying to tell me Terribly Important Things. I will listen and give a thoughtful reply.
3. I will NEVER resort to punishing out of anger, i.e. yanking ears, baring my teeth and making my lips disappear, swatting at any reachable body part in the backseat while I am driving.
And to answer the second part of your question? YES, I do every single one of those things. I can't help it. It must be genetic.
However, another thing my mom did that I said I'd never do was send Organic Fruit Leather in the lunchbox (instead of Fruit Roll Ups like the other kids) or try to pass off carob chips from the Whole Foods Store as chocolate chips...
...and I HAVEN'T!! Because friends, when it comes to food, my children will only have the REAL, WHOLE FAT, NAME BRAND THING. FROM WALMART. Because I'm serious about my food. Seriously.
One of Frema's questions (and I'll get to the rest later) was: What rules / parenting methods do you hold as non-negotiable?
Well, my husband and I have the same EXPECTATIONS of our children. We do not usually get the actual desired result, but since they are 2 and 3, I will cut them a LITTLE slack.
One of the earliest methods we both agreed on was We Will Not Rock Our Kids To Sleep. Now that is not to say that we didn't rock, cuddle, sing, and read at bedtime, but after the bedtime routine (and there is a ROUTINE), we have always put them in their beds, kissed them and said "Night-night!", and shut the door. And as a result (or because we got lucky), we have two children who will go to sleep by themselves, usually before 8:00. Woo hoo!
We also believe in teaching our children:
-no talking back or arguing.
-being respectful to their elders.
-no hitting.
-sitting still and being respectful in church, restaurants, and school.
-we also believe in spankings and time outs, and would like to only use both methods with love and only when absolutely necessary.
Now that I've stated all of our lovely, flowery ideals, let me get one annoying little detail out of the way...we've not exactly SUCCEEDED in accomplishing all of these things. But we're going to keep at it for approximately sixteen more years. IF the children don't kill us first.
And, if you ever actually see me and my children out in public, you'd probably wonder if it was my other personality that wrote all that stuff about "children behaving, sitting still, being respectful, blah, blah, blah." But I swear! We're trying!
Donna asked: Tell me about your last "bad wife and mother" moments and how you handled them.
DONNA! There are too many! Where will I start????
Most recent bad mother moment:
G and L were begging me to push them on the swing set, and I kept saying, "In a minute, in a minute!", because I was reading my book, and then it got to be time to start supper, and I told them to "Go play!" and then it was bath time, and it got dark, and I never did push them on the swing. I felt - and still feel - awful about it.
I have one bad mother moment after another all day long, and I just move on quickly and resolve to try and do better tomorrow.
Most recent bad wife moment:
Watching a tape of Young and the Restless and eating ice cream in bed while my husband stood next to me folding mounds of neglected laundry.
Again, one bad wife moment after another, but for some reason, he puts up with me!
5 Comments:
Dude! Everyone has cool questions to ask you, and no one wants to ask me any *cries* clearly I am boring and uninteresting... or, have rambled on sufficiently that they know all the answers already.
I like the parenting questions and answers, best - for the record... I think they're very interesting.
1. That is quite the list of things to do with kids that young while missing a teeny-weenie item like anti-ANXIETY meds.
2. Your list of I will nevers had me gasping for air as I read, checking off each thing I have done.
3. I felt so much better knowing you had done them too. (Swatting at body parts in the back seat? Funny as hell to picture, but what's up with doing that? I know, I KNOW, me too!)
4. I will send you my still-waking-twice-nightly eight-month-old, and you will no longer want another baby.
5. Wait until your daughter comments on the kerplunkityness of her poop while pooping in a public bathroom, or, someone elses.
6. (Which really, is an odd number to end with, but this had to be said) I cracked UP on your disclosure to the deli lady about L's accident and the mini-tissue!! Bwaaahahahaha!
OH, you crack me up! I loved these questions and answeres.
Do you know what I actually said the other day that I SWORE I would NEVER say? "If you want to cry, I'll give you something to cry about."
As soon as it came out of my mouth I was all, Oh hell NO you did not just say that. Shoot me!
And yeah, you are one busy girl.
Great post and so true about things you say you will never do, but end up doing anyways. I think once you have kids or stepkids there are times when you finally realize why you mom did certain things. Desperate times call for desperate measures, lol. Hope you get your anxiety meds soon. I understand that completely.
WOW - I have to say that the last thing I read about your husband (laughing at you strolling through puke) totally had me...well...angry at him. I mean, I was actually ANGRY at some internet-strangers husband!!! I even retold the story to my husband and vowed that very evil things would happen to him if HE ever dared to do the same thing to me.
But this post has elevated my impression of him again. ;)
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