I've been a slacker on Fat Fridays. But the truth is, I'm STILL FAT, and it's just too depressing to write about every week. Writing about my food issues hasn't been the motivator I was hoping it would be.
CPA mom asked about the details of my "retail therapy" yesterday. And as soothing as it was to spend money that I shouldn't have been spending, and as much as I like the things I bought, the items I was shopping for were really no fun to shop for. Honestly, it was a really crappy reason to have to shop...fat clothes. My third round of fat clothes, to be exact.
Every fall I shop for some new clothes, and for three years running, they've been a bigger size. And every fall, my husband and I say, "We'll just buy a few things to get us through until we lose this weight." Um, yeah. Right.
I have ingredients for a "soup diet" sitting in my fridge, but I continue to choose hanging out with my orange Halloween Oreos over actually making the soup.
I bought healthy packets of oatmeal and hard boiled some eggs so I'd have healthy breakfast choices, but four cups of coffee with extra big splashes of Vanilla Chai Spice creamer has been my morning meal for three days in a row now.
I set my alarm for 6 a.m. every day last week, intending to get up before my kids and get on that treadmill. I slept through the alarm every.single.day. and never made it to the treadmill.
I stuck a list on my refrigerator of how if I lost just 1 and 1/2 pounds a week from now until June, I'd be at my goal weight by summer. I look at the list every time I go rummaging for another snack.
Fat. Fat. Fat. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.
CPA mom asked about the details of my "retail therapy" yesterday. And as soothing as it was to spend money that I shouldn't have been spending, and as much as I like the things I bought, the items I was shopping for were really no fun to shop for. Honestly, it was a really crappy reason to have to shop...fat clothes. My third round of fat clothes, to be exact.
Every fall I shop for some new clothes, and for three years running, they've been a bigger size. And every fall, my husband and I say, "We'll just buy a few things to get us through until we lose this weight." Um, yeah. Right.
I have ingredients for a "soup diet" sitting in my fridge, but I continue to choose hanging out with my orange Halloween Oreos over actually making the soup.
I bought healthy packets of oatmeal and hard boiled some eggs so I'd have healthy breakfast choices, but four cups of coffee with extra big splashes of Vanilla Chai Spice creamer has been my morning meal for three days in a row now.
I set my alarm for 6 a.m. every day last week, intending to get up before my kids and get on that treadmill. I slept through the alarm every.single.day. and never made it to the treadmill.
I stuck a list on my refrigerator of how if I lost just 1 and 1/2 pounds a week from now until June, I'd be at my goal weight by summer. I look at the list every time I go rummaging for another snack.
Fat. Fat. Fat. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.
4 Comments:
I feel your pain. I know it might not mean much, but I have faith in you. Keep going...boy is this a crappy job of encouragement or what. I do believe in you and have always that you were beautiful and wondered how I could measure up.
I have no idea what to tell you on this one, babe. Maybe a work-out or weight-loss buddy? So it wasn't all on your own head? I know the buddy system has always worked for me, but I'm competitive *blush*
Either way, please try not to forget that everyone loves you for what's INSIDE, not what the outside looks like - us and your hubs and your kids included - so don't be too hard on yourself. When you're ready, you'll be ready, and it'll come off easy. Honest.
Don't worry; I'd rather make out with a half-gallon of Breyer's than touch even one spoonful of oatmeal. I hate oatmeal, unless it's those cute little oatmeal bars with banana flavoring or something.
Maybe all of us weight-loss wannabees should start a blog to motivate us and chart our collective progress. Think it'd work?
Dude, I think Frema has a fabulous idea. We should all start a blog or something. We all seem to struggle with our weight. I had been feeling so good about myself. Who wouldn't with losing 52 f-ing lbs. Right? Until I went to my workshop this weekend and the other girls going through we so much skinnier than I was and where we practiced there were mirrors everywhere and I almost cried so many times looking at myself and my stomach. It's hard. SO HARD!
I wish distance wasn't an issue for any of us and we could be there, in person, for each other.
For what it's worth, I think you are beautiful inside AND out! And your blog is pretty too. (Everyone got a new template on my week off.)
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