The Gi-normous Update Post

ON THE PREVIOUS MISS USA POST THAT GOT EVERYONE RILED UP:

I did NOT mean to upset anyone! I've always considered myself a very tolerant person, and I don't have a problem with anyone of another race, religion, or culture. I find the differences in all people very fascinating. I'm confident that anyone who knows me personally would assure you of that.

So I guess it just pisses me off when I see people NOT being tolerant of others, such as when Mexico was booing the U.S. I would have been just as horrified to see the U.S. booing Switzerland. Bad fucking manners. It's ugly, it's rude, and it's childish. And I thought it was a very big deal. I felt attacked, sitting there in my pajamas and eating ice cream in the home that we work hard to pay for and maintain. I pay my bills. I obey the law. I take care of my children. I served as an educator. I try to see the best in everyone. And I felt personally attacked, for NOTHING I had done.

My comments about having all my food labels in two languages, and ESL aides in the classroom was meant to convey that in my day-to-day life as an American in the midwest, I see our area going above and beyond to make the growing Mexican culture in our area feel comfortable and at home. I see companies, schools, and businesses doing the best they can to incorporate immigrants into "our" culture, and then the U.S. is booed at a beauty pageant?

I'm not sure who all of the anonymous commenters on my last post were and I'm not here to defend them, but I am assuming they live in my area, which IS actually becoming quite full of illegal immigrant workers. I'm not going to discuss the politics of that issue, but I will say that the issue is a hot one for a lot of people in this particular area because it does cause a strain on our local schools and economy. Most people do not have a problem with Mexicans, or a problem with any immigrant LEGALLY living in our country, state, or cities...the problem lies in the ILLEGAL factor.

I also absolutely realize that ALL OF MEXICO was not sitting in that audience booing, but I also maintain that the people who had the opportunity to attend that event ARE representatives of the country of Mexico. You don't just walk in off the street to attend the Miss Universe pageant...put your good manners in your pockets before you go in, kids. I don't dislike all Mexicans. However, I do dislike any person sitting in the audience acting like a dumbass.

I agree that a certain someone is the majority of the problem with our international relations, but that does not mean I should be booed while taking my kids to the park, taking my family on vacation, or sitting on my ass in front of the television. I DIDN'T VOTE FOR HIM. EITHER TIME.

On to lighter notes...

THE BABY:

She is moving constantly, which is wonderful! I love the experience of feeling a baby wiggle around in my tummy. HOWEVER. I think she either has a small knife in there, or possibly very long fingernails, because she is about to destroy my bladder. I will be just fine, then all of a sudden have a sharp, pinching pain on my bladder, race to the bathroom, and have my husband yell, "I can SPIT more than THAT." Men can just never understand this particular joy of third trimester pregnancy.

Speaking of movement, I am also fun party entertainment now, as I giggle / yelp / swear uncontrollably now when the baby tickles / hurts / stabs me from inside. It's a particulary fun trick to perform when you are at Walmart with two toddlers in tow. Puts a little fear into the Walmart employees. I consider it payback for the times they've reprimanded me for letting my kids ride on the back of the cart.

My prenatal tests and glucose screenings have all been normal, my blood pressure is consistently getting lower at each visit, and get THIS...I have only gained 10 pounds. And that, my friends, is why it is helpful to be overweight before you get pregnant. I gained 50 with Garrett, 35 with Laura, and I will hopefully ring in this delivery with less than a 20 pound gain. Which is good, because I DO NOT WANT TO WEIGH MORE THAN MY HUSBAND.

My gag reflex is in ultra-high gear, which makes brushing my teeth, coughing, cooking, and yelling at the children a joy. Because you would absolutely listen to a woman who screams, "Garrett Alexander, leave YOUR SISTER ALONE RIGHT NOW!!!! *GAG* wouldn't you? When my eyes water, I mean BUSINESS, people.

The following photo is the worst belly photo ever, but I took it myself, and until I get my professional belly shots done, it's all you're getting. This was about a month ago, at 27 weeks:

LAURA:

She has a fondness lately for lifting up my shirt in public places to "kiss the baby". And yes, that is totally as embarrassing as it sounds.

Her temper tantrums continue to be mind-numbingly exhausting and her current record for non-stop screaming is 72 minutes. However, I had to take her to a funeral last week, and a woman complimented her flawless behavior on the way out. She's a tricky one.

For fun (Read: To keep the little heathens busy so I can get one damn minute of peace), she and Garrett made cakes with me yesterday. Here is my future free-help in training:

GARRETT:

In good news, he was "promoted" from the "Threes" class to the "Fours" at his preschool. His program was precious. He would not sing any of the songs, but he did perform all of the hand motions to each one.

His teacher gave a personalized award to each child, such as "Best Smile", "Perfect Attendance", "Happiest Attitude", and "Most Helpful". Garrett's award? "Most Curious". In case you don't know this, that is a teacher euphemism for "Asks the Most Annoying Questions All Freaking Day Long". But I am beyond proud, and I'm glad he had a teacher with the ability to read his personality so well. She pretty much hit the nail on the head.

In OTHER news, besides capturing our pet fish with a spoon and cutting up my window screens, he has held down our cranky ten year old cat in an attempt to spoon feed him, and has managed to tear nearly all the limbs (from just the left side) off of our ONE tiny tree, a magnolia.

There was also an unfortunate incident where Garrett and Laura managed to escape from the backyard. That is a long, complicated story, and also a story that reveals me to be a incredibly negligent mother, so the only details I will share on that one are:

1. The children were not abducted.

2. No one was run over by a car.

3. Daddy's truck keys were involved in the "incident". The truck was unharmed.

4. Garrett will make a lot of money someday by inventing new and improved child safety systems for doors and fences, because he knows a lot of damn tricks that those child safety experts never even thought of. I'm not sure what kind of kids they test those products on, but I'm guessing they're the same kids who eat their crayons in kindergarten.

MY ADDICTION TO YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS:

Well, still no news on Nick Newman. He's apparently still dead. I say 'apparently' because my finely-tuned Soap Opera Sixth Sense, which I've spent YEARS perfecting, tells me he is NOT DEAD. He WILL be back. And I think that he is on some weird island with Drucilla, and they will make one huge return together. All I know is it better be this week, because 1. May sweeps is almost over, and 2. Nick is hot.

THE CAKE "BUSINESS":

I just finished my Wilton final cake class, which focuses on wedding and tiered cakes. I'm soooo happy with how this turned out!!

I had two huge cake weeks in a row, and I can still smell phantom buttercream. I'm actually kind of bored, and ready for some more orders.

IN CONCLUSION:

Congratulations if you made it to the end of this post. Now that I'm getting in the groove of summertime and relaxation, I am hoping for less "update" posts, and planning for more thoughtful and entertaining posts. So really, stay tuned!