The Great Escape

Oh, fine. A bunch of you asked for it, so here it is...

...The Story Of How My Children Could Have Been Abducted Or Run Over Because Their Negligent Mother Was Not Watching Them Like A Hawk.

A few weeks ago, I had a monstrously big cake week. Needing some time to work, I sent the kids out to play in the backyard, where I can watch them from the kitchen window.

About ten minutes later, Garrett comes running in yelling, "We got the car in, mom! The car is in the house!" (He has one of those big, battery powered Jeeps in the backyard, which is currently without a battery).

I yell, "Get that car OUT of the house! That is an outside toy. NOWWWWW!" Then I say, "Wait - is the car UPSTAIRS or DOWNSTAIRS?"

"It's downstairs!" Garrett replies.

I can't figure out how in the hell he got the car into the downstairs, because there is a child doorknob lock on the downstairs door, and to get into the backyard, you have to go through the fence, which is also locked. I'm stumped.

So, I call my husband, who is working in his office downstairs, and tell him to check the doorknob and fence locks.

Husband eventually figures out what happened. See if you can follow:

1. Garrett gets the lock off the fence.

2. G pushes his Jeep through the fence and up to the back door.

3. G realizes he can't get the downstairs door open...it's locked from the inside and out.

4. G comes back in the house, through the unlocked kitchen door, and goes downstairs.

5. G undoes the deadbolt on the downstairs door.

6. G goes back outside, through the now open fence, and opens the now unlocked downstairs door.

7. G pushes the car inside the house.

But the story is not over. About the time we're realizing just what has happened, Laura comes running, pink and sweaty, yelling, "Daddy! I have your truck keys!".

We open the garage to assess the damage.

While Garrett was attempting the Great Escape from the backyard, Laura had taken advantage of the open gate.

We found toys out in the front yard, handprints all over the truck, and the keypad to the garage was opened up.

They both got spankings after we explained that they could have gotten hit by a car ("But we didn't go in the ROAD, mom!"), or that someone could have taken them ("But that guy on the bike didn't take us!" - great...witnesses to my negligence).

Please understand that this ALL took place in the space of TEN MINUTES. And the scary part is, when I looked out the window to check on them every few minutes, I could always see or hear one of them. They obviously knew to "cover" for each other so that I wouldn't know what was going on.

Finally, to our question of "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???", Garrett said, "I just wanted to get in the garage to get our bikes," and Laura replied that she "wanted that candy from Daddy's truck." (there was a candy bar wrapper on the floorboard)

Is anyone else seeing a 16 year old Garrett stealing our car from the garage, in order to drive a 15 year old Laura to the gas station for a candy fix?

Because I am.

Uh-oh.

Looks are deceiving...

Now THAT'S more like it...