The scene: After finishing supper, Laura and Garrett decided to pull out the markers and paper while they had our full attention. After drawing several lines and circles, Laura wanted our input on her creation.
I'm M (mom), Seth is D (dad). You must envision Laura's commentary with very serious facial expressions and sweeping hand gestures. However, I know this story still won't make you dissolve into unstoppable laughter like it did to us. I don't even know why I'm writing this, really. But if you just stay with it, you'll be rewarded with a giggle in the end...promise.
L: Now see my picture, but you can't laugh. It is my PICTURE.
D: It's very good!
M: So beautiful, Laura!
L: Now, you tell me which paf to draw on.
D: That one.
L: Okay. I will draw on that paf. Now mom. Which paf do you want?
M: This path.
L: It's just a PAF.
D: A "pass"?
L: Yes, a pass. NO, NO. A PAF.
M: What is a paf?
L: It's THIS (pointing to a line). And this is a PEOPLE, and he has a hot air balloon hand. And this is a SLIDE, with this on it. It's like a SANDWICH. It tastes like burger.
D: Hmmm. Okay. Are you sure you don't mean a "path"?
L: NO, NO! NOT A PATH (enunciated perfectly). A PAF! DON'T LAUGH.
We're still confused.
So then, I tell Garrett to show Daddy the special picture he painted at Granny's today. See, I left the kids at Granny's while I went to lunch with friends. When I returned, G couldn't wait for me to see the special picture he painted for our friend "John" at church.
Now, you first have to know that John is the only African-American person that Garrett has ever known (we don't live in a very diverse area, to say the least). Garrett has been slightly afraid of John since he began attending our church. We have tried to be very non-chalant about it, and have been doing our best to show Garrett that John is our friend, and that we ALL have different skin colors.
So he shows me the picture he's painted, and tells me he would like to give it to John on Sunday.
It's a perfect painting of a person, head, arms, legs, body, painted entirely in brown paint, with huge white eyes and a huge white mouth. I thought it was so innocent and sweet, and a good sign of Garrett becoming a little less intimidated.
He pulls out the picture tonight to show it to Daddy, and Daddy makes a shocked face, then laughs. "Seth, he worked really hard on that," I say.
And then I see what Garrett has added.
A huge green penis.
God help us.
I'm M (mom), Seth is D (dad). You must envision Laura's commentary with very serious facial expressions and sweeping hand gestures. However, I know this story still won't make you dissolve into unstoppable laughter like it did to us. I don't even know why I'm writing this, really. But if you just stay with it, you'll be rewarded with a giggle in the end...promise.
L: Now see my picture, but you can't laugh. It is my PICTURE.
D: It's very good!
M: So beautiful, Laura!
L: Now, you tell me which paf to draw on.
D: That one.
L: Okay. I will draw on that paf. Now mom. Which paf do you want?
M: This path.
L: It's just a PAF.
D: A "pass"?
L: Yes, a pass. NO, NO. A PAF.
M: What is a paf?
L: It's THIS (pointing to a line). And this is a PEOPLE, and he has a hot air balloon hand. And this is a SLIDE, with this on it. It's like a SANDWICH. It tastes like burger.
D: Hmmm. Okay. Are you sure you don't mean a "path"?
L: NO, NO! NOT A PATH (enunciated perfectly). A PAF! DON'T LAUGH.
We're still confused.
So then, I tell Garrett to show Daddy the special picture he painted at Granny's today. See, I left the kids at Granny's while I went to lunch with friends. When I returned, G couldn't wait for me to see the special picture he painted for our friend "John" at church.
Now, you first have to know that John is the only African-American person that Garrett has ever known (we don't live in a very diverse area, to say the least). Garrett has been slightly afraid of John since he began attending our church. We have tried to be very non-chalant about it, and have been doing our best to show Garrett that John is our friend, and that we ALL have different skin colors.
So he shows me the picture he's painted, and tells me he would like to give it to John on Sunday.
It's a perfect painting of a person, head, arms, legs, body, painted entirely in brown paint, with huge white eyes and a huge white mouth. I thought it was so innocent and sweet, and a good sign of Garrett becoming a little less intimidated.
He pulls out the picture tonight to show it to Daddy, and Daddy makes a shocked face, then laughs. "Seth, he worked really hard on that," I say.
And then I see what Garrett has added.
A huge green penis.
God help us.
Labels: Garrett, Laura, Please pass the xanax
10 Comments:
OMG, I so totally did not see that coming! I guess he won't be giving away that picture, lol.
lol.. why is it a GREEN penis? that is way too funny! lol
Lucy
Thank goodness my children aren't the only ones obsessed with "peepees". Whew.
Hahahahahaha!!
I have to go change my pants! That was friggin hilarious and so like mr. Garrett. Hey he is taking steps in the right direction.
Bwaa-haa-haaaaa! That was hilary-ous. Also, I can totally picture how Laura was talking b/c Mia does the same thing.
I had to pull myself off the floor to comment!!!!!
Bwaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!
HA HA!!! Well, you know what they say.....
oh boy, that was great!
That ranks WAY up there with the mall puke story! I love it!
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